Can Porn be Used Responsibly?

Can Porn Be Responsible

This term at a local trade school I have the honor of teaching college level speech and ethics. My ethics class, to be honest, can be a challenge at times. This is because I instruct from a philosophical perspective which means that I am limited to teaching from two categories: 1) reason and 2) experience.

Certainly my training at the seminary level had to do with the way of Jesus and how this provides the center of all ethical discourse. For instance, the title of the class that I both took and eventually was a “teaching assistant” for was called Discipleship and Ethics. The title implies that we take up our ethics from the rabbi, namely Jesus. By no means would I say that religion never comes up in my philosophy of ethics course. Everyone knows I’m a pastor and that each of us comes to the table with various religious perspectives. Yet, I cannot appeal to this as my foundation for argument.

This became increasingly clear in a discussion on sexuality and pornography. Several arguments can be made as to why pornography ought to be limited in a society. Sexual addiction, for instance, is one of these issues. The inherent degradation of women would be another issue, which feminists rightly point out is a reason that pornography should be limited. These are two of many pragmatic reasons for setting boundaries around porn, that complement a Jesus centered ethic without having to appeal directly to the Scriptures.

Related: Sexual Orientation – It’s Not a Sin by Kathy Vestal

If we were to appeal to Jesus on this matter, he easily renders porn (which ought to be distinguished from merely nude anatomy: for instance, art) outside of a life in a faith community that places God’s character at the center. My view is that porn always removes God from the center replacing the Divine with lustful desires. Porn never glorifies God or embodies what St. Irenaeus proclaimed: “The glory of God is humanity fully alive.” Porn distorts God’s image-bearers, thus misrepresenting our perception of God’s glory.

For obvious reasons I wish that the previous paragraph could be part of my toolkit in class; but it is not. And clearly, the room was divided on the issue. No one outright said porn was always wrong, but some demonstrated varying degrees of comfort with accessibility to porn.

One student believed that porn actually could be a useful educational tool. His reasoning was that we ought not to make sex a “dirty” thing to our children, so we should expose them to it (responsibly) at a young age. From his perspective, responsible exposure when coupled with education leads to non-predatory, healthy, and safe expressions of sex as children grow up into their teens and early adulthood.

On one level, I agree. I hope to be the sort of parent that openly discusses sexuality with my children as something beautifully designed by God as an expression of marital love. Sex is not dirty. On this point I agree with my student.

The application of how to train up children with a view of sex as something “good” totally diverges on two different paths from this point. I asked him pointedly: “Would you be okay with watching porn with a 10 year old?”

His response: “For the purpose of teaching about sex as something normal and part of life, I would have no problem showing my son pornography.” He went on to say that in doing so that we also need to train them that what happens in porn is fantasy, just like science fiction films, so that we guide them to know the difference between that and reality. This approach, from his view, would lead to healthy and responsible sexual ethics. Obviously I disagreed.

I eventually, after much discussion on the topic brought us back to a conversation we had on sexual ethics. The foundational question, that we needed to go back to, was:“What is the proper context for sexual expression?”

I then broke it down into categories as follows:

Context for Sex:

- Consent between two adults?

- Recreational activity?

————————————–

- Love?

- Marriage?

If we believe that the top two categories give us the basic context for sexual expression, then educating with porn might (almost) make sense in certain situations. As you watch two paid actors/actresses perform illicit actions, they are both consenting adults doing a recreational activity in order to make money. Porn does not auto-deconstruct an ethical system in which love and/or marriage only apply to context of sex in some circumstances. This of course, assumes that the sort of pornography being viewed is not a product of sex slavery, prostitution, and other non-consenting situations.

What changes the argument, then, is if we believe that sexual expression is supposed to be reserved for the context of love and/or marriage alone. As soon as we move in this direction (which for Christians is always covenantal) it becomes a logical impossibility to observe sex for educational purposes between two parties that do not love each other, or even better, that are not committed to one another in the bonds of marriage. Porn always deconstructs love.

Also by Kurt: The Impossibility of Being President and Following Jesus

Clearly, these categories invite honest reflection about one’s approach to parental guidance when it comes to sex. In parenting, we have to first determine our foundational understanding about the proper place of sex, in order to determine if porn could potentially be utilized responsibly for educational purposes. Perhaps this is why PG has always meant “parental guidance suggested.” Of course, sexual standards continue to stretch beyond the imaginations of previous generations, which is why we are having this discussion in the first place.

For those of us who seek to follow Christ, we remember that the context of healthy sexuality is always in the marriage bed. Jesus says that looking at a woman (the same could be true for a man) lustfully is grounds for adultery. This is because he appealed to an inward virtue ethic that allows our inner life to determine our outward actions. God invites us to allow the Holy Spirit to shape our character to make us look more like Jesus, free from the shackles of longing for someone other than a spouse. Porn never accomplishes this aim in any circumstance.

Collectively, we are the “temple of the Holy Spirit” where God dwells. Whereas the cults of the ancient world facilitated degrading sex-acts in temples devoted to pagan gods, the biblical God abides in a temple preparing to be a bride, unblemished before Christ upon the church’s immanent wedding day in the renewed creation (1 Cor. 6, Eph. 5, Rev. 21). When sexual expression is placed in the biblical context of marriage, we recognize that porn can never be used responsibly because it never points us towards the most beautiful of unions: heaven to earth and God to us.


Kurt Willems (M.Div., Fresno Pacific) is an Anabaptist writer preparing for a church planting project with the Brethren in Christ. He writes at: the Pangea Blog and is also on Twitter and Facebook.

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Kurt Willems

Kurt WillemsKurt Willems (M.Div., Fresno Pacific) is an Anabaptist writer preparing for a church planting project with the Brethren in Christ. He writes at: the Pangea Blog and is also on Twitter and Facebook.View all posts by Kurt Willems →

  • http://twitter.com/namastechi Namaste Chi

    I question your groupings because you ignore that recreational consensual sex exists within the context of love and commitment.

    • Anonymous

      the act of recreational sex clearly contradicts the concept of love as defined by Jesus the Christ…just because somebody out there calls something love doesn’t mean it is.

      • Anonymous

        what’s the definition of “recreational”? i am not clear on that.

  • dsmaxwell

    Notice how Jesus never mentioned the word “porn”, yet we can draw conclusions on what is proper sexual behavior from His message. Great article.

    • http://twitter.com/namastechi Namaste Chi

      he did speak of lust, though, which is the basis of porn. one could build on this fact to suggest a man is in sin for being horny for his wife, yet one would be hard-pressed to find a preacher who declares this notion. I’m not convinced that faith has to be intrinsically entwined with morality. It can, and should, inform it but morality is not the substance of living faith out.

      • http://twitter.com/qotbpaul Paul Charles

        I disagree with that entirely. Morality is an essential part of living faith out. Faith without an accompanying ethic is meaningless.

      • http://twitter.com/qotbpaul Paul Charles

        I disagree with that entirely. Morality is an essential part of living faith out. Faith without an accompanying ethic is meaningless.

        • http://twitter.com/namastechi Namaste Chi

          So, what if you were morally-perfect: then what? What are we really after with this moralistic fixation of ours? Let’s cut to the chase. Most evangelicals are hung up on morality because they follow a Greco-Roman model of Christianity that is based on the notion humans existed in a perfect state of being before “the fall” and moralism is the pathway toward restoration, in terms of state of being. I suggest this is false. We would not find ourselves in a perfected state if we could, somehow, perform our way there.

          • Anonymous

            correct, it is possible for a man to be in sin for certain forms, or levels of, desire toward his wife…
            some faiths may or may not be entwined with morality. however, a faith in the Lord Jesus the Christ has certain clear instructions while many other things continue to lie in mystery for a thing called time…and yet if i walk with Him i begin to see

          • http://twitter.com/qotbpaul Paul Charles

            I’m not saying that if you fail to live up to that ethic then you’re no longer someone of faith, but that ethics and faith can’t be divorced from one another. If ethics weren’t important Jesus wouldn’t have spent so long talking about them. I’m not implying moral perfection is the aim, just that morals are vital to the life of faith.

      • http://www.facebook.com/WRBMite Ranjit Singh

        or maybe to say…the public moral law does not have to be directly linked to a couple’s faith decisions. Also…when Yeshua did speak on lust “…if u’ve even looked at another…u’ve already committed adultery”…this was more to do with laying it straight on how closely related to ‘falling short of the glory’ his self-righteous audience was (and is) … than …. commenting on sexual appropriateness between a man and his wife (or wife and her man!).

    • guest

      Yes, those ancient heiroglyphics could get pretty racy.

  • http://twitter.com/barwal1 Barry Wallace

    One other factor should be considered in any discussion of whether porn could be used responsibly. Is it responsible (or ethical) to support an industry which is built to some extent on the abuse (mental, emotional, and physical, and sometimes including drug abuse) and exploitation of men and women for profit?

    • http://www.facebook.com/WRBMite Ranjit Singh

      if we’re going to talk about it from that position…why limit the question to just porn…please also direct it at the pharma industry, food and drug laws, uhh…american weapons legislation, migrant screening, israel support, organic food vs chemical additives etc etc etc…the list goes on! All of these things are created with the inclusion of psychopaths, greed filled merchants, and abusers of all forms. But we still use elements of it. I think the article’s question…which it didn’t explore very comprehensively…was is there any use for the adult material. The supporting of an industry argument requires a complete restructure of the entire global system. We’re not there yet. :)

  • Bill

    Another significant ethical issue with porn, it seems to me, is how rarely female performers are truly acting consenually. In almost all instances there is underlying coercion, addiction or abuse.
    This may seem an unfair overgeneralization, and I am sure there are plenty of exceptions, but it seems true that in the vast majority of instances exploitation (objectively) is occuring.
    There is therefore an ethical objection to support of the industry, which profits from this exploitation.

    • http://www.facebook.com/WRBMite Ranjit Singh

      Exploitation is definitely characterstic in some industries that create porn. Not all. The New Zealand industry is monitored and regulated. I don’t know of a single kiwi woman that i’ve met in adult entertainment that isn’t in it by her own freewill and choice and is mostly (as much can be in such an industry) mostly protected by her own consent.
      Exploitation and supporting an industry…there are many many more industries closer to a conservative home that exploit alot more pervesely and are accepted to do so…but porn is such a topic that is the more obvious target.

  • Ann F-R

    Kurt, you might find the analysis of moral ethics done by Jonathan Haidt in “The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion” helpful in filling out your ethical paradigm.

    The western “thin” moral understanding is driven by the utilitarian content of morality as defined by John Stuart Mill’s “harm principle”, which was introduced in the 1850′s according to Haidt. Thus, your model proposing the “context for sex” as:

    Context for Sex

    - Consent between two adults?

    - Recreational activity?matches completely with Mill’s. There is no greater community interest, no ripple effect of one’s individual choices on one’s further interactions in society (i.e., the objectification of person[s] in one context is strictly limited within one’s psyche to that sole incidence of objectification, as individuals we need not concern ourselves whether others – e.g., porn stars, prostitutes – have ‘freedom’ in all respects to ‘choose’ their profession), etc.

    The Harm Principle states, “The
    only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a
    civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others.”

    You can see how individually-focused and community-careless this becomes. If you’re interested in introducing a fuller moral content to folks, without using your religious framing, perhaps it would be helpful to ask students to evaluate how their actions affect others and themselves, even done in isolation from others?

  • Anonymous

    Good thoughts, thanks Kurt.

  • DB

    A “hard case” instance which makes me wonder is a 30-something guy with Down’s syndrome whose parents allow him to have soft-core porn magazines, since masturbation is the only kind of sex he’ll ever experience. (He also loves professional wrestling.)

  • Anonymous

    My response to the student who thinks watching porn with a 10-yr old is okay (other than reminding him that, if publicly known, this behavior would probably wind him up in jail and a registered sex-offender for life) is that there is nothing porn can teach someone about sex that couldn’t be learned from one of those awkward anatomy videos we had to suffer through in sex-ed class in junior high. Porn could certainly give someone an anatomy lesson, but that’s what those videos did too. What else could porn actually teach about real-life sex? Maybe I’m missing something here…

    And the other problem with this worldview is that it implies that you have to know everything there is to know about sex before you actually engage in it. One of the great enjoyments of sex within marriage is learning/improving together and not having to worry about your partner judging your performance because you both know you have an entire lifetime together to get better at it!

  • Bec

    What if we knew that the two people in the porn were married? How would that change this situation?

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