One Flesh, One Purpose, One Rank

Home / One Flesh, One Purpose, One Rank

Posted Jul 26 2011 by Mimi Haddad with 8 Comments

Welcome to Red Letter Christians! If you're new here, subscribe to the RSS feed for updates on the RLC Movement and/or sign up for the RLC newsletter!

Summer is the season of weddings! Many of us will have the pleasure of celebrating with family and friends as they join their lives as husband and wife. Though we have all enjoyed countless weddings over the years, there always seems to be that one moment in the ceremony where we are hit by the immensity of the occasion—when the two become one flesh! As bride and groom are joined as one, before God and their community, we experience an ecstasy we’ve encountered before—in the early chapters of Genesis.

Standing amid the countless wonders of Eden, Adam’s aloneness is the only “not good” in a perfect world. Among the many astonishing animals, Adam cannot find a suitable companion. What is missing?

Adam needs a creature like himself, made of his substance—a woman. Notice he recognizes her immediately. “At last! This is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (Gen. 2:23). Adam declares their shared origins with these words, “I will call you woman because you came from my body.” Scripture emphasizes not their differences but their likeness to each other! They share a metaphysical substance because they are both created in God’s image. They also share a physical being, because Eve comes from Adam’s body. In this oneness, they are then given a common commission—to exercise authority together in caring for and being fruitful in the world (Gen. 1:27-31). Their shared ontology (being) reveals a shared teleology (purpose). Rank, authority, and hierarchy are unnecessary for those who share the same substance and purpose.

Notice the apostle Paul makes a similar point when addressing ministry within the body of Christ. Those who share in a spiritual rebirth are inaugurated as equal members of Christ’s body—the church. Through Christ, God is building a New Covenant people, with Jesus as head, and you and me as joint heirs. Slaves, Gentiles, and women serve equally with free people, Jews, and men in the purposes for which God has called and gifted them, because they too are born of the same Spirit. Rank, authority, and hierarchy are unnecessary among those born of the same substance—the Spirit.

Likewise, in his teaching on marriage, Paul calls husbands to love their wives as they love their own bodies. They share the same substance! Ten times Paul asks husbands to love their wives, encouraging the tender empathy distinctive of a one-flesh relationship. Just as all Christians submit to one another (Eph. 5:21) because they are born of the same Spirit, husbands and wives submit to one another as one flesh. Husbands are to nurture and love their wives, because her body is his, and his body is hers (a point Paul also stresses in 1 Cor. 7:3-7).

Oneness of substance leads naturally to mutuality, love, and a shared purpose, underscored in the early chapters of Genesis and in Paul’s teachings on redeemed relationships among Christians. While some wish to ascribe authority and rule to male headship in marriage, to do so misses Paul’s point, beginning with Ephesians 5:21. Just as Christ is head of the church, husbands also have an opportunity to imitate Christ, who came not to rule, but to serve, and lay down his life to serve and love others.

In Christ, husbands now exalt with Adam, “This is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh!” Authority, rank, and hierarchy are not only unnecessary among those who are born of the Spirit, but they are also inconsistent with the very nature of a one-flesh union.

This column is an excerpt of an article of the same title that appeared in the most recent issue of CBE’s Mutuality magazine, on “Headship.”

—-
Mimi Haddad is president of Christians for Biblical Equality

Readers who viewed this page, also viewed:

Forgetting the Poor?

The Great Church Search

The Pollution of Racism: What White People Can Do About…

Shocked About New York Gay Marriage

Why Christians Don’t Like Jesus

About the Author

Mimi HaddadMimi Haddad is the president of Christians for Biblical Equality.View all posts by Mimi Haddad →

Popular Posts

http://www.fivedills.com Greg Dill

Sigh. Egalitarianism eloquently wrapped in a different package. But, no matter how you package it, the New Testament is very clear about our roles as males and females, both in the home and in the church. Although we are all indeed one in Christ; the husband is humbly placed at the head of the home and the man is humbly placed as the leader of the church.
- http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ALJTB7FIYKY7MLAVYILQIZLNWA Michael
  
  Dude; If I told my Dad told my Mom he was protector of her or the tyrant of the house; she would file for a divorce and leave us out in the cold LOL… The whole point for the arguement here is that there should be equality in the Church. The reason the New Testament says all that stuff about man being “superior” back then was about Roman women. Roman women were pretty promiscuous especially the better off ones. It was to urge women to stay with their husbands and not go out and have some fling with another person.
  
  If I were to say to my girlfriend ”I’m in charge!” even in compassion; there would be trouble. She would kick my butt! God loves men and women the same wants equality and the whole “Biblical Patriarchy” is misguided.
  
  You make it sound like the woman is owned by the man LOL. That’s not a good thing. We’re all free to make choices. A husband should not have authority over his wife nor should the wife the over the husband. Marriage is a partnership Greg. One where a wife and husband of equal status cooperate and love each other.
  
  My parents are equal partners in marriage. And they’ve had a successful 25 year marriage. I don’t think God wants a man to “possess” his wife’s body and sole. That’s not what God is about.
  
  And I think Jesus would want women to have just as much of an opportunity as men would.
  - http://www.fivedills.com Greg Dill
    
    Michael – I appreciate your comments… dude. But, as a 43-year old man having been married for nearly 20 years I don’t take my marriage lightly. My wife is not my property nor do I think most Christian men actually think that about their wives. That’s simply a fear-mongering tactic espoused by those who maintain an extremist egalitarian view. I treat my wife as equal to me, and she is also my sister in Christ. But, as her husband I am divinely obligated to respect her, love her, protect her, and provide for her. I am to love her as Christ loved the church. And, this is how I as a man of God show my love to my wife. If you, your parents, and whoever else wish to live differently then you are free to do so. But, the Bible is very clear about this and we choose to live according to this view.
    
    It’s worth noting that this has only become a point of contention in Western society over the past two hundred years. Why is this such a problem for post-modern Americans and Europeans? Societies that continue to move towards humanism rather than God.
    - http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ALJTB7FIYKY7MLAVYILQIZLNWA Michael
      
      Nothing wrong with that God bless!
  - James C
    
    It takes two to tango, but the man leads.
Don N

Talking about weddings and equality…I lament strongly the use of the imagery in marriage ceremonies that objectifies the woman as a possession to be given from one man (her father) to another (the future husband). The imagery in the traditional processional in which the woman is walked down the aisle by her father, to be “presented” to the waiting groom, smacks more of a business transaction than anything, and harkens back to the days when the young woman truly was a possession of her father. I would like to see couples (and there are some who are making the deliberate choice) who envision a wedding ceremony that emphasizes equality and mutuality, in which the imagery supports the blessing of all the parents (not just father of the bride) and sees both the bride and groom as equal participants in the beauty of both the ceremony and the marriage! I would also like to see clergy challenge couples to see beyond the “romantic” vision of the standard ceremony that supports such inequality.
- BrianH
  
  In our wedding ceremony, my wife was walked down the aisle with her father who then walked to me. We shook hands, and he hugged his daughter, and then walked back to sit with his wife. This wasn’t about objectification or possession, but about love. Simple as that.
  Perhaps it would have been more equal if my mum had walked me down the aisle first. Just a thought.
  - Don N
    
    There are many ways to “adjust” the traditional service to make the symbolism match our theology. My wife and I walked up at the same time, along the outside aisles, then came together at the front of the sanctuary (and walked out together down the center aisle). Both sets of parents gave their blessing to the marriage. I also realize that for many couples the interpretation that I made of the symbolism is not even remotely on their mind. But I think it’s time to be more conscious about why we do what we do, especially if the symbolism we follow blindly is based on questionable historical practices.